One inch for 5


What are you willing to sacrifice for the newest, must have item? I’m sure most people heard about Apple’s announcement of the new iPhone 5 to be released Friday September 21st. I found an online article by Eric Adams on Men’s Health in which I will quote part of it but the full article can be found here

“Apple rolled out its latest iPhone this morning, and of course it’’s chock full of techie goodness. Enthusiasts started hyperventilating on cue over the bigger screen, beefier processor, updated operating system, and ultrafast wireless. Then they fainted over the fact that Steve Jobs’’ earthly spiritual vessel now also rocks better earbuds, jacked-up photo capabilities, and——egads!——a new cable.

We want one, of course, and we’re not alone. In fact, a just-released survey by CouponCodes4u found that 39 percent of the 2,000 18-to-30-year-old males they polled would gladly sacrifice an inch of penile prowess in order to be the first to score the new device.

Let me say that again: 39 percent of young guys in this survey would accept a shorter schlong in order to get their mitts on a new iPhone.

Now, before we start parsing out the specific strengths of the iPhone 5 compared to the strengths of a fully endowed member, let’’s sit with that stat for a minute. There are three possible explanations for this obvious lapse in sensibility: 1) Those guys have such prodigious length in the first place that the loss is negligible, which I doubt——no offense to the undoubtedly studly clientele of; 2) They were kidding; or 3) They’ aren’t thinking enough with their Johnsons. In that case, I don’’t know exactly what calculus those young dudes were performing in their bargain-addled brains, but I’’m about to pass on some wisdom to the 39 percent.

Here it is: You need your dick! All of it! It’’s not like an investment, where you can dip into the earnings a bit knowing that your “package” will grow back within a few years. Once you make this Faustian bargain, all you get out of it is a shiny new thing and a permanently shorter shaft. Never mind the fact that after three weeks, you’’ll be sorely regretting the exchange since everyone and their brother who actually does salivate over cell phones will have gotten their own iPhone 5 without checking the little “Accept Terms and Conditions” box on Satan’’s website.”

Now I want the new iPhone, I have held off upgrading my iPhone 4 model waiting for the iPhone 5 to be released, however I can wait a few more weeks to get the phone, I’m not about to sacrifice an inch of “Mr Happy” to be one of the first owners. I guess they didn’t survey any woman or if they did the women were way more reasonable which wouldn’t surprise me. The real interest to me is what people are willing to give up, to sacrifice in order to be the first with the latest and greatest item whether it be a new iPhone, a car, tickets to an event etc. are we really that materialistic of a society?


Muses from the front range of the Rocky Mountains

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Posted in Life, Stupidity

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What I have been up to
September 2012
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